Bernard at Play
Bernard laid bare
Bernard jokes
pesky IT

He likes to tell 'jokes'.  They are rarely recognised as such.  The story he relates about when the sainted Dora worked in a tea shop in Cambridge says it all.  For those who have not yet had to hear it we set it out below (we could hardly thank Bernard and Dora for their kind permission to trespass in their private accounts).

It was some time ago that Dora needed to take up the job as a waitress.  She was young good looking and efficient.  The latter quality is the one she manages to retain.  Two professors (of mathematics) were regulars at the tea room.  They were normally served by Dora but she knew that they never remembered her from one day to the next.  They were so wrapped up in their own tiny worlds.  She knew enough about them from the conversations that they had between the two of them, they were always intense.

This one day one of them (let's call him X) was going on about the beauty of mathematics and how the average person missed out on the joy and beauty of the world of mathematics.  He was sure that the simplicity of calculus could bring such joy to the masses.  His friend (let's call him Y) tended to disagree with the sweeping generalisations but it seemed he did so just to annoy his friend (X).  

After a while X left the debate to visit the facilities and while he was there Dora was surprised the other (Y) spoke to her.  He told her that he would like her to assist him to play a joke on his friend.  That shortly after his friend returned he would ask her (Dora) a question and she was to recall the answer and give it to him.  The answer to the question would be one third P to the power of three.  Dora agreed to help as the tea room was not busy.

The friend (X) returned.  Y continued with their conversation and told X that he was wrong to assume that the ordinary human did not understand and appreciate mathematics.  Indeed he was prepared to bet £50 on this and invited X to ask a question of the waitress to prove it.  The bet was taken and X asked Dora the question that Y had expected.  He asked her for the integral of P squared.  

With very little hesitation (just enough to add an edge of excitement) she said 'one third P to the power of three'.  Well X was amazed and handed over the £50 immediately to Y.  Dora stood and watched but already the two had forgotten she existed.  She turned away but as she did so she added soto voce 'plus a constant'.